Thursday, September 10, 2015

Bully S/R Response REDO

Summary Response Outline
(Orange Text Has Been Added or Edited)
Summary:
  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb, main idea
  • Supporting ideas to prove main ideas
  • Explanation of ideas
  • Concluding sentence: restate main idea
Bully by Lee Hirsch portrays the story of how bullying can influence or ruin the life of a child, and those around them. In the documentary Hirsch follows five different children through an entire school year as the face family, personal and communal troubles that can be relatable to any audience. The film shows throughout that bullying is on a much larger scale now than ever before and that it can lead anyone to do things they never thought possible.

Response:
  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb, agree/disagree (correctly portrays/ incorrectly portrays), because ___________ and ______________
  • Bully, by Lee Hirsch, correctly illustrates how bullying can affect a child, because bullying can change a child’s self esteem and eventually their self concept.
  • Bully, by Lee Hirsch, correctly illustrates how anyone can overcome bullying if they stand up for themselves and if other people are willing to help, because bullying is a societal problem that can only be stopped if it is discouraged by everyone.
  • Claim 1: Bullying can change the way a child thinks about oneself and many people stand by and let it happen.
    • Set up: If bullying is not discouraged by everyone, it can ruin a child’s life by affecting their self identity.
    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” A severely bullied kid named Alex Libby even said, “I’m starting to think I don’t feel anything anymore” (Hirsch).    
    • Explanation of quotation to prove claim:  Alex is a child who has been bullied to the point where he doesn’t even notice the bullying as an issue because he has become calloused to it.
  • Counterclaim 1: However, .... However, bullying would not be such an issue for children if they learned to stand up for themselves and if other people discouraged it.
    • Set-up: In many schools in the film, the staff and officials do not make a reasonable effort to prevent bullying. They tell the bullied child to make friends with the bully or to just deal with it. In some cases, they completely deny the fact that any bullying is occurring.
    • Evidence: Lead-in  One student at East Middle School in Sioux City, Iowa was urged to shake the hand of one of bullies by the school’s assistant principal, Kim Lockwood. Lockwood told the student, “So by not shaking his hand, you’re just like him” (Hirsch).   
    • Explanation of quotation to prove counterclaim: By completely disregarding the bullied child’s issue, this lead to his situation being ignored, leaving him with only the aegis of his confidence, which had been knocked down by his teacher. This is a perfect example of being a bystander to bullying and allowing this problem become worse.
    • What are the strengths/ flaws of this argument?
    • Many think that....bullying is a controlled problem that has an  easy solution. It can be understood why someone might interpret bullying in this way... because many people have not experienced bullying first hand so they would not understand the severity of this problem and it’s global grasp on children. However... bullying can only be stopped if it is discouraged by everyone. It is not a simple problem that can be solved by only one person, everyone must lend a hand in stopping it.
Concluding sentence: restate main idea Bully transcends the line between film and for most of us, reality. As Hirsch masterfully proves how degrading and horrific the effects of bullying on children really are. In his brilliant art of storytelling he depicts not only the improbable, but the seemingly impossible.

1 comment:

  1. Good summary.

    With your claim, explain and show how Alex has been bullied. I'd do this in the set-up so you can set-up how bad life is for Alex. Then in the explanation, explain the quote as well as its connections to the claim Spend more time developing the context of the quote.

    I'm not sure why there are all the ellipsis in your rebuttal. Write complete sentences. Make sure that you are expanding on your final point of the rebuttal- push the thinking forward.

    A conclusion sentence should be one sentence. Condense.

    16/20

    ReplyDelete